so confused i can barely sit up straight, and so weak that even pressing the keys feels like a task.
if there were good intentions in everything that was said to me, then it sure as hell was misguided and accidentally hurtful.
so why is it now that i'm so upset i'm fighting off tears?
i don't like to be held under such intense pressure, and i don't like when people who have made more mistakes than i insist on telling me what is right for me.
i've spent my holiday season being more understanding than any human being should be, and working exceedingly hard to provide kind gestures to people i love and repay the love they have shown me. this has easily been one of the worst holidays in my memory, because i feel as though no one's actually taken my feelings into account, only their own.
it is rare that i feel as though the people i love are fucking up, because generally i feel like the luckiest girl alive.
i'll just make excuses for everyone and "see their side of the story" because that's what i've always done instead of stand up for myself.
happy 2009, you've already ruined my year.
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