casualty of war: me

Everything is fucked up. Really, really fucked up.I think I only write when things are bad or excellent, I should probably learn to write during mediocre tolerable times. Everything seems intolerable lately though, and working 2 of 6 weeks is financially crippling and so is surgery, losing a roommate and having no one to move in, and I'm trying to keep my head above water but there's no land in sight so why not just let go and drown? I think have an actual stress issue. I broke out with red bumps all over my face from the anxiety and stress of constantly struggling to make it work without asking for help. Thank god for the people who love me and will help when I don't ask, even if it just means buying me a vodka soda to soften the blow that my bank account can't accomodate a $6 drink. I'm trying to stay positive, I know that life sucks and you have to roll with the punches, but its like getting your heart broken. Sometimes getting out of bed is just impossible when you know that you'll be verbally berated or knocked on your ass AGAIN today. I will only get out of bed to get on airplanes.